How to Be
Perfectly Miserable
- Think about yourself.
- Talk about yourself.
- Use “I” as often as possible.
- Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
- Listen greedily to what people have to say about you.
- Expect to be appreciated.
- Be suspicious.
- Be jealous and envious.
- Be sensitive to slights.
- Never forgive a criticism.
- Trust no one but yourself.
- Insist on consideration and respect.
- Demand agreement with your own views on everything.
- Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
- Never forget a service you may have rendered.
- Be on the lookout for a good time for yourself.
- Shirk your duties if you can.
- Do as little as possible for others.
- Love yourself supremely.
- Be selfish.
This recipe is guaranteed to be infallible.
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