Ponderings for Daughters
You are living in a unique generation (although every generation has had its hardships and temptations for the daughter of the King) where you are constantly being bombarded by all that the world has to offer you. Women are encouraged to get through school and then go on to higher education in the hopes of embarking on some exciting career that will bring them fame and fortune, and—most of all—“liberate” them from the dark “confines” of keeping the home. Oh, I beg of you (as one who was once a daughter and failed miserably in living God’s design for that part of my life) to consider God’s design for you in this blessed time of your life.
If you are living with parents who fear the Lord, then this letter is very much for you. Why? Well, first of all, while your parents are not perfect, you should thank the Lord daily that they have chosen to fear Him and to honor Him as they grow in their walk with Him. Many girls do not have this privilege. I encourage you to lay down your will and your wants and to love the Lord your God with your all. Lamentations 3:27 tells us that it is good for you to bear the yoke of discipline while in your youth. I encourage you to daily embrace that discipline from the authority of your parents. They watch for your soul, and they must give an account for you. Please submit yourself and joyfully love being in your place as a daughter.
Learn all that you can about being a woman of God. Read His heart for you in the Word of Truth. Observe His heart in women who obey the Word with godly fear. Ask questions of your mother and any other mature godly sisters in your life. Have a teachable spirit, which requires humility, a complete surrender of your own will in order to hear the words of instruction from those God sends into your life to teach you. Be thankful for this, dear daughters. It is a gift from God!
Learn what you can about God’s design for you in daughterhood. It is often thought that the Lord is silent about things concerning daughters specifically, but I am here to tell you that His Word has much just for you. Besides all the things that pertain to you growing in character, in wisdom, and in Christlikeness, here are a few things to stir your heart:
- Philip the evangelist had four daughters, and they all prophesied (shared the Word of God and what to do about it—of course staying within God’s boundaries of not teaching men). I am sure that in order to prophesy, they had to first be living the Word. My heart warms at the thought of Daddy Philip, out evangelizing, being confident of his daughters at home ministering to the family, the neighbors, and those whom he would bring home for supper that night, telling of the LORD both in their deeds and in their words.
- Nehemiah records details of those who worked together to repair the broken walls and the burned gates of Jerusalem. Read Nehemiah 3:12 sometime. My heart leaped with joy when I read those words one Sunday as the Word about Nehemiah was being preached. Girls, you have a mighty task to fill in your father’s house, helping to build up the testimony of your family as being one who fears God, all for His glory. Pray for your parents. Tell them what things the Lord has been teaching you as you read His Word. Sing praises to Him as you work. Help your siblings to honor the Lord by honoring your parents. Bless the people who come through your home by serving alongside your mother in humility and genuine care of your guests. Write encouraging letters to sisters in the Lord. Serve the sisters and busy moms in your congregation, who would perhaps find a box of prepared meals left in their vehicle after services a welcome relief from the hard work of mothering little ones.
- Rachel and Rebekah both tended their fathers’ flocks; Rebekah gives a good example of hospitality and service, even to a stranger, and was used of God to be the godly wife of Isaac. She was called to go afar for that task, when a suitable wife could not be found for him in all the neighboring communities.
- The Rechabites (daughters are specifically mentioned, too) followed their father’s direction to not drink wine, and to dwell only as strangers in the land all their days. They are recorded in Scripture as those who honored their father, even though it would have seemed strange not to plant and harvest, to not live in houses, and to not drink wine. The Bible clearly mentions (Je. 35:19) that a blessing from God was upon them for this.
Psalm 144:11-15 speaks of the people of God turning away from strange practices and people, protecting their sons and daughters, and having plentiful blessings with which to do God’s work. It speaks of daughters being cornerstones, polished in the likeness of a palace. This is God’s design for you, and what a beautiful design it is, daughters, if you but follow it! Cornerstones help to hold up the roof of a building. Think on that, will you? You are a cornerstone in your father’s house. How are you helping to keep it fitly joined together?
It might be hard for you to understand today why you should lay down your desire to go out and make money and have a career, starting on your “life’s work” (what the world would have us think is your life’s work). But I submit to you that you can and should obey and keep pursuing God on this point, because it is His heart for you to understand and take your place in His design for families.
The truth is, God designed you to be a keeper at home and to find joy in making that your life’s calling, in whatever way He chooses to bring it about. Learn of your mother and others how to cook delicious, nutritious meals. Learn to enjoy tidying up the home and to keep it clean. Go out of your way to do more than you are asked to do. Learn to see things that need to be done, and then willingly apply yourself to do them. Jesus came not to be served, but to serve. Make this your life’s motto, and you will find great joy in fulfilling God’s design for you.
As a daughter who failed miserably in living God’s design for me during that time of my life, I would like to share these things that I learned after I had missed my opportunities to walk in this way. I can only wish I had known and lived this way, thankful for the mercy of God to forgive me of my unrighteousness and to allow me to come back to share with His children the lessons I learned by failure. He is a gracious Father and loves to show the seeking heart the beauty of His plan.
God’s design for daughters to be keepers at home is a beautiful way of providing protection and an environment in which to become skilled at this life’s calling. If daughters embrace it and joyfully walk in His Way, the result is best described in Psalm 144:15.
Happy is that people, that is in such a case:
yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD.
If you are a daughter, provided with a family to care for and to walk with in the fear of God, then I encourage you to embrace this with joy and put your heart into letting Jesus perfect you daily in being a keeper at home. Seek your father’s heart in this. Perhaps he will give you some specific ways that you can help in your family and with his particular work. Maybe he will have you go to the local grocer for helping to supplement the family income. Maybe he will ask you to go help another mother in your congregation from time to time. Maybe you come from a large family and your parents’ desire your help in keeping the home. Maybe you live on a farm and you are needed to help with chores. Maybe there are busy mothers who would appreciate your offer to sew dresses for their daughters in any extra time you might have. I encourage you to be scheduled and to not languish in ease and hours of free time, but to fill up extra time (not encroaching on Bible study and prayer, and family life, of course) with service in whatever capacity your parents can approve.
Whatever the case may be, please do not let the lies of feminism tell you that you are a slave to your parents if you do these things, that it is drudgery, and that you are in bondage because you are not “out there” getting more education and a career. Don’t believe the lie that it is more enjoyable or needful to go “out there” and get a job that will financially aid some man other than your father. Don’t believe the lie that it is more noble to get involved in daycares and hospitals helping some other children, meanwhile neglecting the siblings and/or nieces and nephews God gave you (or the children in your congregation), whether it is helping with their schooling or their daily needs. While fields of service outside the home may be someone’s life’s work (some may not have any “home needs” to fill and are thus needed in other areas), please know that God gave you a family, an environment where you may learn to serve and die daily to your own selfish wants and wishes.
The world has nothing of lasting value to offer you. You are being protected from heartache and loss by not walking the path of feminism. There are women today who can tell you that going to school and becoming a nurse destroyed their desire to walk with the Lord, as they chose a career that daily put them in the company of unbelievers, and the unwholesome work environment that mixes male and female in close proximity, wearing down their spiritual vitality and crossbearing. There are women who will tell you that leaving homes in their young teen years to daily work a 9-5 job destroyed their sense of responsibility in family life. There are girls who will tell you that they wish they had been wholly involved in keeping the home before they married and became entirely responsible to keep that home, unprepared for the high calling that it is.
Like the wise man who wrote Proverbs, I entreat you as a mother. “My daughter, hear my instruction; forsake not the counsel of your mother/sister in Christ.” You will never regret having walked in the beauty of God’s design for you. I am not “making laws” here, but to walk in the beauty of God’s heartbeat for His children means that homes rise up and become strong beacons of light, units of togetherness that witness to a world darkened by sin that JESUS LIVES there, and that there is hope for them, too. These homes (strong families being very much God’s heartbeat for His people) can then unite with other family units and servants of God who are also walking in His beauty, spreading the good news of salvation in the communities in which they live, thus “going into all the world and teaching all nations …”
Will you rise to the challenge? Will you in your generation build up the walls that are broken down, testimonies that are clouded by worldly ambition and selfish desires? Will you stand up and be different? Will you take up the call of God for your life as a daughter and help to keep the home where He has placed you?
God bless you, daughters. May you grow up in Him, walking in His footsteps each day. Tomorrow you will be the mothers, grandmothers, perhaps a Dorcas, or maybe even a widow, in God’s work. I bid you today, be daughters of honor, preparing for tomorrow, as God tarries.
In His service, and because He lives,